Little H is nine months old now. Yesterday in fact. This means that my maternity leave is nearly over. For the non-Canadians, let me explain. Parents in Canada are entitled to one year of paid maternity leave as long as you contributed to the Employment Insurance fund during your previous employment (ie, you weren’t self employed). It can be shared between both parents if required. Because I am nursing I took the whole year off and hubby was the workhorse.

The Employment Insurance fund which I have contributed part of my wages to since I was 16 years old pays me 55% of my previous yearly earnings while I am away from work. Needless to say, we’re getting in a hole trying to keep up financially. So, this means we can’t afford for me to stay home any longer. Once my year is up, I go back to work.

Thus the anger.

I hate the thought of leaving little H in the care of another person. And I hate that I have to do so and go back to my job, which while I didn’t hate it, it doesn’t strum by heartstrings as my life’s calling.

Writing and arts fill that space. So far all I’ve earned from writing was a $25 prize which was never mailed out to me despite my contacting the publisher over and over and over. (It was WPJ just so ya know…they’ve now folded, go figure.) This makes me angry as well. I don’t know that I will ever make a living from my passion for writing. Is it not a skill that deserves monetary recognition? And any moms who have already been through going back to work after baby, please chime in in comments and tell me it will all be alright. I need to hear it today.