I was standing in the shower this morning doing the zombie stance. Head back, water hot, eyes closing not because of steam, but because I was falling asleep standing up. And I started to wonder if I was taking on too much.
There’s this blog, the new blog, the Chicken Soup essay, a new weekly contribution which I’ll talk more about at another time plus working full time and raising a one year old.
Yesterday, some family dropped by with some books for Little H and it was sort of unexpected. I couldn’t let them in the house. It was verging on dirty with cat fur covering the sofa and little H’s cast offs still on the floor from the last meal. I suggested we take Little H and their 5 year old to the park next door instead.
As I let the conditioner work on my hair, I stared at some soap scum on the tile and I started feeling guilty about the state of my house. I started wondering how I will manage all of this, and how I’ve been managing it until now.
I realized that the answer is in my focus. I’ve been thinking fast on the topics at hand because I can’t afford not to. I find myself narrowing in on my goals, choosing my activities wisely, defining what it is I want to accomplish and striving towards that. So housework isn’t in my top ten must dos. We aren’t wallowing in filth or anything like that, but I would like things a bit more orderly. One day we’ll get there – when Little H can understand she needs to play in her room so I can scrub a toilet. Until then I’m ok with what’s going on because I’m doing what’s important to me. I’m working towards my goals and I’m spending lots of time with my daughter who doesn’t care if all her cute onesies are in the wash and I’ve dressed her in a not so cute one. And I did make a very nice chicken stew for dinner last night, I was happy about that.
I got out of the shower feeling much better about myself and where I’ve chosen to spend my time. I felt refreshed and ready to start my day – then I brushed my teeth with hubby’s toothbrush. Maybe I should put ‘sleeping’ a little higher up on the to do list ;p
ps – image from wikipedia – that’s not my shower, mine is grosser than that!
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All I can say is thank you for putting into words the feelings I have been having for a couple of years now! I have been trying to narrow in on my goals but feel ever scattered about the commitments taunting me from every angle. I keep reminding myself that everyday is a new day full of possiblity.
i here you girl! we all have to figure out where to focus our time. and LOL about the toothbrush! i’ve done that!!!
My kids are teens now, but I often think back and wonder how I got by on what probably amounted to five hours of sleep a night for a stretch of about 5-7 years! Yep, sometimes the house was a disaster and we had no clean clothing ready, but I always had time for the kids. Looking back, not sure I’d have done anything differently. I’ve got two of the most wonderful children I can imagine. Keep on doing what you’re doing. You’ll be fine!
There’s an old saying…
If you want something done, give it to someone who’s busy.
Ya know how it’s (usually) easier to clean somebody else’s home much faster than your own? well, I’d trade you if I could. Although, I’d secretly pick up beforehand so you didn’t think I was such a slob.
nice job on the “let’s go to the park!” move. brilliant.
Housework has never been my number one priority, even before the tempest of motherhood + working. Yeah, okay, I keep the kitchen and bathroom clean enough so that no one contracts any nasty intestinal disease, and I certainly don’t want to lay out a buffet for ants and mice… but clothes on the couch? Books piled on the desk? Window a bit spotty? Suck it up, princesses — my house, my rules, and life’s too short to be worried about clutter!
Hope you’re doing well! I do believe a long hot shower sounds perfect right about now….
I am right there along with you. just when I think I get ahead, i realize I’ve fallen behind again.
And housework…oh man…I swear our laundry is moving by itself across the house!
I echo all the other comments. My mother still does not understand why I would rather sew when the baby is napping instead of doing the dishes and other housework. “How can you work like that?”, she asks. All I know is that I would not be a happy mom if I didn’t make something often.
You know I go through this often, especially because we homeschool.
I feel like I am somehow failing someone or something, but the reality is I am doing what needs to be done at the time, so what if the dust bunnies now own the underside of both couches, and there is a little soap scum in the shower today, my kids are happy and healthy and for now they are my number 1 priority.
Oh I just went back in time. From a survivor – you will eventually get a full nights sleep!