"In the Dark" Hope Overcomes

It’s days before her first birthday.  She doesn’t want to drink her bottle.  She doesn’t want to eat.  She’s sick.  Hours have gone past and more hours still and she hasn’t wet her diaper.  I’m starting to worry.

Finally she seems enthusiastic about a jar of creamed corn.  It’s always been her favorite.  She eats the whole thing and I’m thrilled because it’s fairly moist for solid food.  And then she vomits.  All that she’d eaten comes right back out.  She cries.  She vomits again and we all load up in the car to go to the emergency room.

The nurses try and tempt her with popsicles.  She want’s nothing of it…of them.  She buries her head in my shoulder and tries to sleep.

The Doctor hooks her up to an IV.  I can hear her shrieking from down the hall.  I had to leave the room.

I’m sitting on a bench, head in my hands, tears on my face and thinking about where we were 12 months ago.

We heard “Your baby stopped breathing.”  We heard “she’s been resuscitated.”  We heard “We’re sending a social worker to speak with you.”

I felt my world ending just as it had begun.  I spent days in the NICU and I prayed for that IV to come out of her arm, for her to eat well.  I tirelessly walked the corridors between my room and her bassinet to nurse her every two hours despite the surgery I’d endured.  She got well.  She came home with us on her fifth day of life and I was grateful.

Her cries soften and the Dr. tells me that the IV is in and she’s doing just fine.  I go back to the room and find her resting on her father.  She’s tired and pale and getting well.  Several hours later I’m draping a clean blanket over the leftover vomit in  her car seat and she comes home with us and again, I am grateful.

Little H at Children's June 08
Little H at Children's June 08

This post is part of my participation in MomDot’s PR Blackout week. I’ll be posting about all things “In The Dark.”  I hope you’ll also turn inward. To think about your voice. To think about your goals and to pull it all together for a week of unique content.  If you do, please share your posts in the linky widget located here.



  1. I hope she is feeling better. My little boy had a stomach bug last month and he is also just days away from his 1st birthday right now. He turns one on the 17th. And your little girl is gorgeous.
    I am also participating in Wordless Wednesday: http://www.mamamakesmoney.net/2009/08/wordless-wednesday-swimming-with-daddy.html
    As well as a new meme called Worth a Listen Wednesday on my new blog: http://www.musicmoviesmayhem.com/2009/08/worth-listen-wednesday-random.html
    Also, feel free to link your giveaways here: http://www.mamamakesmoney.net/2009/08/win-it-wednesday-with-mr-linky_11.html

  2. Ooh! I know the pangs of agony that go with that! I’m sorry you had to go through that pain with Hope, and I’m so glad she’s well.

    Have you read “Handle With Care” by Jodi Picoult? Hugely emotional book, but it had a ton to do with Moms and kids in hospitals …

  3. Awww so glad to bring them home. MIne spend almost 3 weeks in the NICU, I hated every minute of it. TO this day my insides are a wreck whenever I have to take them to the doctor!

  4. Chelsea – I hope your little guy is all better!

    Lisa – I should have clarified that this happened over a year ago. I did put a date on the photo but it wasn’t specified in the post. She’s been better for a while and is doing great!

    Genevieve – I haven’t read that, but I’ve heard great stuff about her. I’ll have to check it out!

    Thanks Elizabeth 🙂

    Amanda – yes it is scary and I’m sorry you went through it as well!

    Laurie – three weeks must have felt like eternity!

  5. What a precious picture! That’s amazing!

    BTW, saw on Momdot how you can’t avoid the words….I’ve never been able to either so starting this week I’m joining in Tell Me Thursday where you tell the story of your Wordless Wednesday post. 🙂

  6. Ok yeah so I’m way late on this post! (Dont’ blog hop as much as I should!) But I saw this pic and had to look/read. She is so precious!!! Glad she got better honey. That must have been terrifying!!!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Something is wrong.
Instagram token error.