How to Tell if your Three Year Old is Smarter than You

Smartie Pants

They drop their undesirable food on the floor ‘on accident’  just when you aren’t looking.

They find cat hair on said undesirable food…it just magically appeared there.

They accidentally put too much pepper on anything that might be a little bit yucky – even though they know they aren’t allowed to use the pepper.

They become ‘stuffed’ after eating a very filling piece of yucky food.

They become quickly ‘unstuffed’ at the thought of desert.

They discover that blue M&Ms are wonderful for painting oneself.

They can’t eat because they need to clean up a mess…it’s helping you know and I should be grateful.

They can’t sleep because they have an itchy toe.

They can’t sleep because they bit their tongue on purpose.

They can’t sleep because the cat is in the room.

They get out of bed because they forgot to pee.

They can’t sleep because the heater is scary.

They demand to go in search of a random toy that MUST be on their bed before sleeping may be considered.

They can’t sleep because the previously requested bedtime story has become inadequate and a replacement MUST be read.

They can’t sleep because the previously requested bedtime song wasn’t sung correctly…or by the correct parent.

They can’t possibly wear the previously sanctioned pajamas because they are now too hot.

They need socks on prior to eyelids closing.

They need water – but only a little bit lest their drinking cause them to need to pee and thus get out of bed.

They can’t clean up their mess because they didn’t make it.

They won’t clean up their toys because the dolly is sleeping and must remain undisturbed.

They must not clean up a mess because daddy wants to play with those toys later.

They shouldn’t have to listen because the cat never does.

They can’t follow direction because they are hard of hearing.

They can’t listen to a request because they are too busy coloring.

And heaven forbid they refrain from shouting “Jesus Christ!” even though mommy has said she was wrong to say it and that little girls aren’t to repeat what their parents say when they stub their toes.



  1. I must say that little H MIGHT have just taken the cake from my girls. Although, they’re quite smart in their own rights. Well, they think they’re smart. I think they think i’m a sucker. Or I fell off the turnip truck yesterday. Thankfully, they have yet to learn the art of balancing one tear on their lower eyelid, THAT skill is still dominated by their mother.

  2. lol Yep, that is how it goes around here too. Just wait until the baby is old enough to join in! Four boys at bedtime here is like a circus. Now, we start telling them to get ready 20 minutes earlier and whatever they don’t have done after that is tough luck.

  3. Ahhh yes I just went through this the other day. It took me over 6 years but I finally swore in front of my son in the car. Maybe he is just old enough to get it now and boy did I get the third degree. We had a talk and Im not sure if it sunk in. Im just waiting for the call from his teacher. Very cute post.

  4. I especially love “They shouldn’t have to listen because the cat never does.”

    You did say you wanted a creative child…

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