What is it about my babies that causes them to stay awake fussing (that’s the ‘nice’ term for writhing, grunting, crying and squawking) all night because they can’t seem to squeeze a fart out?
Many people *not naming names* can fart on command…can fart at the pull of a finger…can fart without musical fruit or want of a tummy crinkling belly laugh.
Sleep is the optimum state for releasing gas…everything is, ahem, relaxed. Why for the love of all that is flatulent can the baby not just let one rip so we can all get some rest.
Let’s not mention the fact that he’s still eating all night long either. At this stage (he’s 5 months old) I’m still up a minimum of twice a night to feed him. Let’s not count the 10.30 feed because normal adults are still up at that hour, although, I’d really love to be asleep by then. If we do count the 10.30 feed then he’s eating three times in the night. Add two fart wakings and he’s up pretty much ALL DAMN NIGHT.
This mama wants some sleep.
So this is my plea –
Dear sweet adorable and chunky baby boy:
Please learn how to toot. Pull a right cheek squeak. Cut the cheese. Play the butt tuba. Dust the crops.
We’ll all be happier for it!
Love your tired Mom.