Today I realized that when I became a mom, I also went completely insane. I came upon this realization when Hannah told me she had a sore neck today. She’d been a little sick the last few days. She had a touch of a tickle in her throat (no cough) and a bit of a sniffle (not a full on run). She wasn’t sick enough for me to keep her home from her school’s out door play day. She wasn’t sick enough to stop running around like a nut or to stop begging for food every 20 minutes.
But when she told me her neck hurt I immediately FREAK OUT and think ‘oh my god she has meningitis’.
I hit the google and find that most often meningitis comes with a fever which she does not have. And I also read that the only way to know for sure is to do a spinal tap.
Then I start thinking ‘ok, I’ll watch for a fever and if she gets one I’ll take her in.’
Like it’s no big deal. Hey doctor, yeah sure, tap that spine. Really? Have I lost my freakin marbles?
I won’t take myself to the doctor unless something is falling off – or out – but when it comes to my kid catching the sniffles I’m in there like stink on a diaper pail. It got me thinking about some of the other things I’ve thought or googled about my kids and in the interest of maybe helping other moms feel less insane, here’s my list:
Mom = Insane
Sniffles+stiff neck = Meningitis
Long nap= SIDS
Bonk on the head= Concussion
High Energy = ADD
Low Energy = Malnutrition
Thirsty = Diabetes
I’m sure there are more – add yours in comments and help a frazzled mom take a moment to laugh!
**NOTE** Obviously, this is meant to be humorous. If your child has actual symptoms do go see a doctor!