Mom = Insane

yeah, that's about right

Today I realized that when I became a mom, I also went completely insane.  I came upon this realization when Hannah told me she had a sore neck today.  She’d been a little sick the last few days.  She had a touch of a tickle in her throat (no cough) and a bit of a sniffle (not a full on run).  She wasn’t sick enough for me to keep her home from her school’s out door play day.  She wasn’t sick enough to stop running around like a nut or to stop begging for food every 20 minutes.

But when she told me her neck hurt I immediately FREAK OUT and think ‘oh my god she has meningitis’.

I hit the google and find that most often meningitis comes with a fever which she does not have.  And I also read that the only way to know for sure is to do a spinal tap.


Then I start thinking ‘ok, I’ll watch for a fever and if she gets one I’ll take her in.’

Like it’s no big deal.  Hey doctor, yeah sure, tap that spine.  Really?  Have I lost my freakin marbles?

I won’t take myself to the doctor unless something is falling off – or out –  but when it comes to my kid catching the sniffles I’m in there like stink on a diaper pail.  It got me thinking about some of the other things I’ve thought or googled about my kids and in the interest of maybe helping other moms feel less insane, here’s my list:

Mom = Insane

Sniffles+stiff neck = Meningitis

Long nap= SIDS

Bonk on the head=  Concussion

High Energy = ADD

Low Energy = Malnutrition

Thirsty = Diabetes

I’m sure there are more – add yours in comments and help a frazzled mom take a moment to laugh!


**NOTE** Obviously, this is meant to be humorous.  If your child has actual symptoms do go see a doctor!






  1. My 15 year old had a sore throat last week. I was immediately certain that she had mono. Took her to the doctor, who started by reassuring me that it wasn’t strep. What? Strep? I hadn’t even spent time worrying about that one! Now I’m adding strep to my list. I’m also insane that way.

  2. fortunately as the years pass & kids age that Mom insanity starts to include forgetfulness (some might say denial). I think it comes from all the sleepless nights! I know I was a nutter but can’t remember a dang thing anymore 🙂 Hope the little one feels better soon

    • it’s not just the sleeplessness…it’s even when the kids are sleeping well and we have the ability to sleep – we’ re still only 1/2 asleep. We’re still ‘listening’ for them. I don’t have any hope in making it through the other side do I? HAHA

  3. It’s worse when you’re a former nurse. You KNOW what the symptoms mean. You know what the treatment will be.

    You still either freak at the smallest thing or you tell them to suck it up. LOL The only two issues I’ve had since becoming a mom are when Ro was born with meconium aspiration — I KNEW that was very bad and she could die and when she ended up in the hopsital with pneumonia and RSV at 4 years old. I was pissed at myself for the last one because I didn’t see the signs early enough. I should have. I’m a fucking nurse for Gaod’s sakes!

    I don’t do Dr. Google because it usually causes way more anxiety than it cures. LOL But I also won’t go to the doctor unless I’m dying. But my daughter goes in for nearly everything except a cold. 😀

  4. My fear (and still is with my 20 something kids) is an unexplained lump. Cancer. that is the one and only thought that occupies my mind. The fear is so intense, I can’t even tell anyone because inside I’m freaking out so much that if I voice it, I know I’ll come completely unglued and probably committed to the nearest psyc (sp?) ward. I know, this won’t make you chuckle, but .. I’ll come back with something else later when my stomach settles again! 🙂

    • I don’t even let myself think about that…not even a little bit. That’s totally enough to land any mom in the nut house.

  5. At least you are thinking and worrying about the signs…

    You care. You are a good Mom. And all of us make mistakes from time to time. Hang in there— use your Mommy Gut and you cannot go wrong!

  6. This is too funny Heather! I went completely insane when my son was born 8 years ago. I used to get up and check his room almost every hour to make sure he was still breathing (fear of SIDS). After my daughter got pneumonia I’m obsessed with coughing too. Insanity is the gift of motherhood!

  7. Oh my goodness, well the little scrape? Definitely antibiotic resistant staph. That little cough, sounds like bronchitis. Licking the patio furniture, oh my gawd tetanus…it’s just nonstop:) Love the blog, new follower!

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