Dear Diary – October Edition

I feel like I’m swimming in the wind a bit these days. Floating along and passing time completing tasks but not really, consciously, going anywhere. Not sure why. I’m not sure if this is ok or not. I’m leaning toward not.

And maybe it just means it’s time to review goals and plans and do something to invoke a little passion.  Or maybe it means I’m adjusting to life with a little less stress – or adjusting to the stress.  This summer brought enough of it that’s for certain

I haven’t soaked in the bath all summer. That might be a good place to start.

Nate is pretty much potty trained now which is wonderful. I say pretty much because he still won’t try to use a toilet outside of our own home. And because he’s still deciding if he really cares about having wet pants or not. For instance, last week he wet himself so he could get out of time out. He knows he has the power here.

Speaking of power, now that he’s trained (pretty much) we are going to start exercising regularly again. I took the summer off of that too. It just made sense for life. But fall is here and so is cold weather and it will be good for both of us to get out a few times a week. Me to walk on the treadmill and him to hang out at the daycare. He needs friends. He’s looking to connect with people other than me and will even call out ‘Hey Lady!’ to passers by on the street. It seems I have to teach him a thing or two about communication with women haha.

He turns three this month.  This makes me sad and excited because life is moving forward.  Ahead to new territory where I will have two children in school and time for me to really dive into something.  To sink my teeth into something that is right and that speaks to me.  I’m not yet sure what that might be, but that’s ok.  I have time to figure it out.  I’m ready to focus and work and create.

There’s not much else to this post.  I wanted to just get this malaise out in the open and hope it buggers off.  I hope the winds change and float me somewhere purposeful.  I’m sure things will work out.  It’s just the hallways and in between spaces that make me uneasy.  I like to see the destination before I charge down the path.  With so many things right in life, kids, family, health, home…all right.  It’s time to decide what to focus on for me and that’s just unnatural.  The path, my path, is still in the shadows and it’s going to take a little work to light it up I suppose.




  1. I get like that sometimes – where things just kind of move along, but nothing really happens. It will pass and Nate will eventually learn to use other toilets……it took my little guy a long time before he would go elsewhere, too.

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