I Don’t Even Know how to Title this

Generally speaking, I don’t care much about what people think of me. I don’t care what they think of my clothes or my car or how I raise my kids. I just don’t. I am going to do what I’m going to do and if that’s a problem for someone then it’s their problem and not mine.

Except for Friday. See, last Friday my husband had the day off. On Friday he was a giant sweetheart and he let me sleep in because he knows how much I crave extra sleep. I didn’t have to make the kids breakfast. I didn’t have to get them ready and out the door. I didn’t have to drive them to school. I stayed in my blissful bed and I was oblivious to what was going on in the world beyond the bedroom door.

And then, to return the favor a little bit, I went and picked my daughter up from school so he didn’t have to. The instant I saw her my jaw dropped. “What are you wearing?!”

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and thought that there must have been another piece to the puzzle hidden underneath her jacket. I lifted it, hoping to see a skirt or a tunic or a dress up there, tucked up and away from my sight. But no. There was nothing up there but her shirt. “I have a t-shirt AND a sweater on mom.” Yes, yes she did.

That wasn’t the problem. The problem was what I saw sticking out from under her jacket – on her legs. Stockings. Tights. Whatever you want to call them. These were not the kind of leggings that could be mistaken for tight pants. These were not the sort that college girls all over the land are wearing AS pants. No. These were more like a heavy weight panty hose. These were nothing more than socks that extended to the waist or maybe even underwear that extended to the feet. These were NOT pants. Not even close.

And there was a hole in the crotch.

A big hole.

I put my head down and grabbed her hand and hoped that the other moms would think her dress was hidden in her jacket. We high tailed it outta there. I got back to the car and texted to a friend:

“You will never believe what my husband sent my kid to school in. I will share a photo when we get home. I’m so embarrassed.”

We got home and I snapped a photo. (You’re welcome.) The hole can’t really be seen here. Trust me, it’s there.

not pants

I questioned the husband and he cried ignorance. “She had her jacket on by the time I saw her. What? Those are no different than any of her other tight pants.”


I thought to myself: Her teacher is going to think I’m on meth; sending my daughter to school with no pants, or no dress, or whatever and the hole. The HOLE.

I emailed:

I would like to apologize for my daughter’s lack of pants today.  Her father drove her to school and I was unaware that she wore only stockings, with no skirt or dress along with them.

We have spoken to her about appropriate school attire, I’m sure this won’t be the first time.


And she replied:


Friday I was not at school however there has been no mention…..


So not only did we send our daughter to school with no pants, but I also had no idea that her teacher was absent that day. I really didn’t know anything that happened regarding my child for pretty much an entire day. I could have avoided having her teacher think I was on meth if only I hadn’t emailed.

What must she think now?




  1. We call tights “giant socks” to avoid confusion with leggings. Either way, this isn’t the first, or the last time a teacher has seen anything like that, and it’s probably not even the worst outfit they’ve seen. Thanks for the chuckle!

  2. just too much snow this winter in Calgary and this has definately the same effect as the drugs you percieve to be on. Soon your mind and the mind of your should I say better half (lol ) will be filled joy and happiness as spring will be in the air (I hope).

  3. My husband has done this (but while taking her to Brownies, not school) only she was wearing sheer tights, not wooly ones. I didn’t even know until another mom told me that my kid went out in public ans wasn’t wearing pants.

  4. Oh my god I laughed so hard I pee’d my pants. This also makes me feel SOOO much better about the weekend I went away and my husband proudly sent me pictures of our daughter also wearing tights (not pants) to the mall playground…thankfully I was out of town for anyone to judge and they probably thought oh look this poor single dad is out doing the best he can with those two little ones. Yeah, I’ll keep telling myself that and not, hey maybe mom should get off the bottle and help dress her kids in the morning.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Something is wrong. Response takes too long or there is JS error. Press Ctrl+Shift+J or Cmd+Shift+J on a Mac.