Ikea – My Heaven. His Hell.

First – some background:

#1 – Hubs and I are incapable of working together on any type of project.  We love each other and we are great at parenting but ask us to work together on a jigsaw puzzle and we fight.

#2 – When I first became preggo with Baby N, in that awkward stage before you need maternity clothes, I tied a hair elastic around the button / zipper of my jeans to allow for some give.  Yes.  I wore my pants that way for about a week then gave in and bought maternity wear.

Ok – on with the tale:

Last Saturday we went to one of my most favorite places on earth.  Ikea.  I just love going there.  I love browsing through the display rooms.  I love that everything is designed with organization in mind.  I love the prices and I even love that I have to put the stuff I buy together.  It’s a challenge and a puzzle and I like challenging puzzles.


Here is what my husband thinks of our Ikea trips –

So as you see, we were already on our way to an awesome Saturday.

Then I see a bedframe with head and foot board that I really like – and it was inexpensive. Until now, we’ve had our mattress/box spring on one of those metal frames with no head board. It rolls away from the wall and our pillows fall down the crack and it was making me insane. So we decide that as long as the box would fit in the van, we’d get it.  We had all the seats in the van so we didn’t have a lot of room.

We get to the warehouse area, find the bedframe and lo and behold it’s in a big box.  I’m sad.  It’s not everyday that we decide to do something nice for ourselves….it all goes to the kids.  Which is ok.  But the one time we decide to do something for us it gets foiled by a cardboard box.  Boo and Hiss.

Then hubs, seeing how sad I was, wanted to make me happy so he says:

“We can take it out of the box and tie it to the roof rack.  It’s just the head and foot board, it won’t be heavy.”

And I get excited.  But then I remember how much of an ordeal it is to get the Christmas tree up there every year and so I say:

“As long as you won’t get mad and frustrated trying to put it up there.”

He agrees that he wont and that we can get the bed and tie it to the roof.  The side slats etc will fit in the van no problem.

We pay and lug our stuff out to the van, get the kids in their seats, rip into the box and put it up on the rack. Then it’s time to tackle the task of tying it down.

Here’s where my jeans come into play.

Picture us.  We have both sliding van doors open.  Hubs is on the driver’s side, standing in the door opening, up on the floor of the van and I am on the passenger side also standing on the floor of the van.  We are reaching up onto the roof trying to tie down the bed.

With string.

This is requiring us to work together – passing the string back and forth.  We’re starting to fight.  “Wrap it around there.” “Where?”  “There….right there!  No.  Poke a hole in the plastic!”  “ARG!”

In the midst of the bickering, remembering that I’m crotch height to my daughter in her car seat, I feel her grab that hair elastic on my zipper and begin unzipping my pants.  Then zipping them up.  Then unzipping them.

I can’t deal.  Something’s gotta give.

I tell my husband as nicely as I can to stop fucking around helping and to get in the car so I can finish tying the bed down.  I was a girl scout after all and it’s easier for me to do it by myself.  I tie that baby down and it ain’t going anywhere – all the while having my pants unzipped.

We drive home in near silence.  The kids both fell asleep so hubs and I enjoy the moment just chit chatting back and forth a little. Our argument had already melted away between us.  After all, we’d had many just like it.  You should have seen us 5 years ago trying to move a small deep freeze into our basement, in the dark of winter, during a snow storm, as it was -25C…that one nearly ended our marriage.

We pull up to the house, park, unbuckle the kids and start our way up the path.  Hubs says…”Your fly is open”

Ikea Bed Frame
the result




  1. Love the story! I love Calgary IKEA too! We’re going there the week after Easter – so excited to shop and I don’t even know what we’re shopping for. The bed is beautiful, by the way. 😉

  2. Your husband’s, um, cooperation skills & feelings toward IKEA are shared by my DH… And guess where we spent today ;D Have to admit I was laughing aloud when the kidlet found your elastic. The bed looks lovely by the way

    • Oh! Did you buy anything? I’m glad I’m not the only one with a less than cooperative husband when it comes to IKEA 😀

  3. I am not a shopper. I too think IKEA is akin to going to the dentist. My husband, however, can handle it better than me. I think I’ve been twice in six years.


    Bed looks great, though!

    • I’m re-evaluating our friendship after your comment. I keed I keed 😉 I don’t shop much either…not for clothes, or shoes, or makeup or anything like that. But there’s something about Ikea. Ikea and Home Depot. *drool*

    • Oh Amanda, I’m so glad I’m not the only wife whose husband is tool incompetent. I’m sure he won’t like this comment. Ooops.

  4. Ha ha I love this story as I can see every detail. My hubby and I work well together so I dont go through this. I still cant believe yours called Ikea hell though. Its like my sanctuary, I love that place.

  5. 😀 … Cute story. I’m glad you guys are able to argue and move on with the day. I’m a straddle the fence fan on Ikea. I like to go, but it tires me to no end and I get frustrated at all the things I want especially if I’m just browsing and don’t have any money to buy.

    I love the way your bed looks!

    • thanks Petula! It’s one of those places where you can get carried away and think you’re only spending fifty bucks but get to the till and it’s much much more. I still haven’t figured out how that happens 😉

  6. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Ikea! When we first started renting this house, I felt like a man… You know the type that can’t do any project without making at least 8 trips to the hardware store?? That was me, only with Ikea. Adam hates it when I decide to go to Ikea only because he knows I’ll get pissy if we don’t put the stuff together pronto.


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