How to Prepare Your House For Sale – With Kids – Insanity Edition



We are just beginning the sales process with our home.  In preparing for photos and the chance that somone might want to come, you know, look and JUDGE and decide to purchase our house….here’s what I’m going through and will be going through until the house sells….


  • Wake up
  • Listen to kids beg for milk.
  • Make sure sippy cups are firmly tethered to their bodies so they don’t roll under furniture and create potential stink bombs.
  • Make beds.
  • Ensure black cat is strategically placed in center of light colored duvet in order to create optimal ‘fur ring’ design.

<begin food cycle>

  • Listen to kids beg for food while you tarp off the dining room.
  • Ensure children are secured in tarped off area prior to giving them their plates.
  • DO NOT feed: jam, rice, peanut butter, cereal, yogurt, spaghetti or pudding.
  • When they are done, hose them off and roll hazmat inside tarp – toss outside immediately.
  • Wipe up any splatter and clean kitchen making sure there is nothing in the sink and the counters are spotless.

<end food cycle>

<begin insanity cycle>

  • Spend the next two hours doing laundry,cleaning, sweeping, dusting, removing cat fur and keeping children away from their organized toys.
  • Hear cat yaking up a fur ball.
  • RACE to said cat sitting in the middle of the carpet and punt him to a spare hazmat tarp.
  • Dispose of yak.

<end insanity cycle>

  • Repeat Food cycle
  • Repeat Insantiy cycle
  • Repeat Food cycle
  • Bathe children
  • Brush kids teeth – make sure you scream ‘SPIT DOWN THE HOLE’ repeatedly
  • Throw the kids in bed
  • Pass Out early to prepare for more of the same tomorrow.






  1. This made me laugh out loud. You forgot one cycle…the *ding dong* Realtor “Oh…they didn’t tell you were coming?” cycle of showings. If it makes you feel any beter, we’re listing our house in the next few weeks so I’ll be right there with ya.

  2. Oh dear. I feel for you. Kids + house showings = nightmare. When things warm up a bit you can have a picnic at every meal and save yourself a lot of cleanup. Hopefully the house sells quickly.

  3. Ha ha, yes its so hard to keep a home in sale condition with a few little cuties running around. I hope your home sells fast so you can get back to normal.

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